Juice Journey Week Three:
New Body, Emotions, Vulnerability and Growth
It has been three full weeks of juice only and I have to say I have relaxed into a rhythm of ease with making my juice every morning.
It has turned into a lovely pleasure of being present in the moment and appreciating the beautiful fresh organic food that it took the sun and water and earth to grow over months and I get to sip the benefits of their (pardon the pun) Nectar!
My mindset around eating has completely shifted to nutrients, and I find myself asking, what is this going to give my body? It seems that all the other temptations have lost their luster. I honestly am not hungry at all either, as long as I have my next juice in hand, it feels like pouring fuel into the gas tank and you just keep on driving!
Back in the gym and the temple is getting trimmed up!
I’ve been getting lots of questions about having enough energy. So far, I haven't been doing big workouts but I have gone back into the gym 2-3 times this week for some TRX training which I love. I've certainly had enough energy to do this light body weight strength training, be completely mentally alert and be busy all day long this week.
Some friends have noticed I’ve lost some excess weight as well. Since I started this journey with the intention of leaving all that does not serve me behind, and it seems to be getting applied to not only toxins but any unneeded squishing bits as well. I stepped on the scale recently and I’ve lost 10lbs so far. Strangely enough though, my muscle tone has improved substantially. It feels like my system reset has determined that moving back to a more balanced, optimal, lighter and tighter frame is aligned with my new streamlined self.
I don’t want to sound to melodramatic, but it honestly feels like a very big transformation is taking place on a mind, body and spirit level. I’m spending a lot of time going within to observe my thoughts, journaling (this week alone I have gone through three moleskins, I think in need a sponsorship!).
I’ve been going for walks in nature to be in the stillness and silence, even if for even just 30 minutes a day, and I'm finding my daily meditations seem deeper and stiller than before. I even stumbled upon this footlong heart-shaped rock on one of my wanderings, which was exceptionally special given that I've felt this has been a particularly heart-opening week of this journey.
An unexpected emotional rollercoaster
While my body seems to be getting more aligned and organized, it seems my emotions were ready to get some long needed attention.
When I first met with with Tori, she told me, “cleansing can be emotional, so if you need support just call or text me, I understand what you are going through." At the time, I was perhaps a little naïve, and truly thought that wouldn’t happen to me. I had no idea that cleansing would unleash a more emotionally expressive me, unearth feelings I had been choosing to ignore, and bring up my deepest fears to be looked at, felt and loved free.
I know that when this happens it is always so that I can move forward in a new freer and lighter way, but it certainly takes a surrender and all of your attention to process it and allow the feeling of the feelings. I really didn’t believe that just changing your food could do that. It’s funny how as soon as we reach a new place of clarity or groundedness, the universe always seems to have some more growth in mind as soon as it deems you ready…but it doesn’t bother to ask you if you feel you are ready for the next level!
Over the past three years I have come to know that change is the only contant and we truly NEVER arrive, we evolve forever. Sometimes I honestly like the idea of a little pause in the expansion of self though…it seems that was not in the cards at this moment. Once again Tori was right.
This week, I was feeling really raw, sensitive, open, fragile, broken open and emotional. This is the complete opposite of how I tend to function and carry myself in the world. I am certainly kind and open and compassionate but I am always in control of my emotions…so feeling all of a sudden very wild inside and up and down really freaked me out.
I really got into my head too, typically I have a very strong mental discipline of selecting my thoughts and what I choose to focus on. This is an art I have honed in the last two years under the guidance and coaching of a wise mentor who taught me the art of choosing your thoughts and words we say to ourselves carefully, realizing the power of the stories we tell ourselves and what we allow our imagination to explore.
Through this concious present-minded being, I have become connected with the guidance from my higher self that shows up in the body and can hear the desires of my heart in most moments, we all loose consciousness in the day…but this week was a totally fall from the peaceful penthouse I reside in most of the time. The universe decided to put a few little triggers in my path to allow me to have the opening to dive into this now. Strap on the courage.
I am so grateful that I have had the catalyst of the juice cleanse to break down the barriers between myself and peel away another layer of shell around my heart.
I feel lighter and more real and authentically me than a week ago. I certainly didn’t expect this as apart of this experience. I’m so happy now that this has happened. I didn’t know what would happen but I got up the courage to have a real heart to heart with a very close loved one that ended up leaving me feeling safe, supported, new levels of clarity, understanding and vulnerability I didn’t yet know was okay to show.
I am now finding the courage to share my feelings and express my emotions in baby steps and I honestly feel like this has started a whole new phase of my adulthood. Taking the power of old fears and beliefs and pushing past them is very very scary but soooooo worth the wild ride. I’m truly excited about where this new openness will take me in my life, relationships, family and self-expansion.
This week's self-care
1) I had the wonderful opportunity to go to the Xavier Rudd concert which was extremely celebratory and soul lifting, if you haven’t heard of him, I highly recommend you check out his music, I found his concert truly awakened a new part of my inner wild side.
2) Went for a 90 minute Float at the Floathouse in Vancouver, if you haven’t tried this yet it is sensational. You feel like you are taking a vacation from the world and getting hugged by your mom at the same time. I love floating and find it to be a wonderful way to spend some downtime even in the heart of the city when you need a time out.
3) Making my own almond milk. I had no idea the pleasure and simplicty of making my own almond milk at home, we just got a super powerful blender a month ago so it became a possibility and I am never turning back!
It’s amazing the richness of experience I find in making my own food at home. It’s something I didn’t learn from my mom. Bless her heart, she is English and a single parent so she didn’t have time to enjoy being in the kitchen…slowly learning to spend time there myself has become a truly fulfilling experience and I will never turn back.